You get the news….you can work from home and your children can too. Sounds great, right? Work with pajama bottoms, no more walking students to the bathroom, you get bathroom breaks…….you are a teacher. A 1:2 ratio is much more manageable than a 1:25. What’s the big deal?……said no parent teacher ever.
Yes, you may have given them life, and you went to college to learn how children work……but there is just something about your own children. I am with you friend.
That first “official” day of distance learning was a pure T mess in my house. I had a gazillion emails coming through from teachers and parents needing help. The occasional phone call from a parent friend who was struggling…..teacher friends struggling. At the same time, I was trying to fix it all……my own children had their own assignments….passwords, sounds, google meets OH MY! At the time, I would have happily delt with lions, tigers, and bears. There were no tears, but I am not proud of my “mothering and teachering” that day. We had a family meeting to decide what path we wanted to take in the next days.
THEY WANTED FLEXIBILITY AND FREEDOM
Our day did not have to look like the regular school day. Let’s get real, this isn’t like and will not be the same. One thing that makes me uncomfortable in the regular school setting is the rigidness of time. I understand it is necessary for the management of the masses, but I have three humans in the house during the day. Surely I could offer more to my children. I knew they would not look back to remember their assignments from day to day, but I knew they would remember if their mother transformed into a monster. I considered those pretty schedules everyone has been posting from Pinterest, but I felt that if the children and I agreed on something that we created, they would be more interested in doing it.
We decided to begin the day with free space. I like to sleep right up until it is time to brush my teeth and get started (I have weened myself off of the daily cup of coffee…insanity I know). They tend to get up earlier. They have from the time they wake up, until 8:00 to just just do their thing. They may watch TV, play video games, what ever until 8:00. They own it. At 8:00, they have a few chores. Walk the dog, unload the dishwasher, put laundry in, brush your teeth. That gives me time to get a good head start on work, at 7:00, to take care of any emergencies that were emailed over night. At 9:00, they are pretty over doing chores and are happy to get on to school assignments.
When working on their own stuff, I’ve pretty much stuck to the motto, “Work hard, play hard.”
Oliver is my more independent learner. He feels behind if he waits to get started at 9:00. He has a strong work ethic and school is pretty easy for him. He has set high standards for himself. We have a few good common areas in the house. When working on school work, I tell them that they must be in a common area. There is just something about chromebooks in bedrooms that makes me uncomfortable. Oliver chooses the couch most days.
Cooper, my sweet youngest child…..just wants to finish. School isn’t easy for him. He puts off work and has a tough time processing what he needs to do. We have found a flexible arrangement together that has been working over the past two weeks. On 
his assignments that change from day to day, he sits beside me as I work. This helps him maintain focus and I like being right there to notice if he gets stumped. For written work, I have him write his answers down on paper, we edit and correct together, and then he types his answers. He lets me look over and give feedback before he hits submit (this was hard for him to wrap his mind around at first). I’m hoping this process helps him establish better working habits, I can already see improvement.
(Mom, why are you taking my picture? I’m working!)
Even Cooper needs his space. There are some programs that he uses daily (Bless you Lyrics to Learn). When he has those types of assignments, he get to go to any common area he pleases. That is when I’m most likely to find him perched on a pillow in the play room. This photo makes my mama heart very happy.
Once they’ve finished their assignments, they have the choice to read or play……. unplugged. This has led to driveway basketball, throwing the baseball, woodland hunts, and learning how to entertain themselves. I do believe it is important that children learn to cope with free time. All to often, we schedule every minute of their day thinking the structure is good for them. Children need time to just figure it out. This is one great attribute of a Gen X alum. Embrace the peace that this awful virus has forced us to find.
Evidence of a good time…….worn out bicycle tires.
They both have started an interest in instruments. Cooper has a free trial of piano lessons thanks to Simply Piano that came with his keyboard. He started this week and I really hope he sticks with it. Oliver has decided to dust off one of my guitars and try out the Fender Music free lesson trial. They have inspired me to “tune in” a little more and get back to my love of music and play with them.
Even more importantly, find yourself a happy place. Retreat there every day. If I’m on our property, it is on my front porch (until it is warm enough to swim). Allow yourself time to just exist and rest. Don’t get glued to your computer all day every day. Set office hours and try to stick to them. I’m not the best at that part, but I am getting better at not feeling guilty for stepping away from my laptop. My other happy place is in the kitchen. I love cooking, and these boys are going to eat me out of house and home. My boys prepare their own breakfast. I throw quick short order meals together for lunch, and cook one pretty meal every day for dinner. Every few days, the boys help me mid day prepare a dessert for the evening….jello goes a long way folks….call it chemistry. lol
I hope most of all, you understand that it doesn’t have to be complicated. Give yourself and your children a little grace. Find a rhythm together. It is totally okay if you don’t have a color coded schedule on your refrigerator. Know that you will get through this!
What have you found in your rhythm of the day?
Where is your happy place?
How can you encourage another teacher friend to free her/himself of guilt?
How has working with your on children during the day while distance learning helped you give a little more grace to your students and parents?
Marsha Moore Sirkin 